I would also like to note here that we have a new blogger among us: http://beth_news.blogspot.com/

On Friday night I went to a “bad taste party” which was a fundraiser for some guy running the New York Marathon – but whatev – a party’s a party, right? In the spirit of the event, I decided to search the internet for short jokes in bad taste – they were to be found, let me tell you. I printed off about 6 pages of them, then sliced them up on the office guillotine (rather obviously I’m afraid, since the guillotine is NEVER used) I went home with my envelope of smut in hand (I tried to limit the jokes to sex related ones, but I have admit that there were quite a few off-colour crackers from other genres!) Scrounging through my wardrobe – I had a hard time finding an outfit – because none of MY clothes are tasteless, are they? I ended up putting on a pair of dressy pink satin trousers (which had a few beer or vodka or some sort of alcohol spill stains on them – nice!), a cut-off yellow Puerta Vallarta tee and a pair of sparkly blue trainers with yellow stripes – not entirely bad taste but really not matching. There were 6 of us heading to this party in Clapham (bloody miles away!) and on the tube we were the centre of attention from many a passenger, much to our amusement and theirs. Two girls waded in at one stop and when they saw us in all our finery, they expressed their delight quite loudly. We started chatting to them – they’d been out on the piss early and were heading home (it was about 10). One girl got off a couple of stops later and asked if we would make sure her friend got off at her stop – no worries – we were heading the same way. This girl (I forget her name now) was hilarious! She had a couple bags of shopping with her and proceeded to show us what she had purchased. She pulled out a pair of gold high heels; strappy, open toed shoes – we oooed appropriately and in response, she licked the shoe in a provocative (if that turns you on) manner – open-mouthed with astonishment, all we could do was laugh. Then she announced that she had bought underwear as well and before we could protest, she whipped them out for us to see – they were thongs, naturally – see through with lace trim (again, if that kind of thing turns you on…) and as we squealed in mock shock, she put one pair up to her mouth and again with the tongue, made a quick-lick gesture over the top of the underwear at us!!! Oh the humanity! She exclaimed that she wanted to come to our party so we gave her directions before we parted. We never saw her that night (we figured as much, when she told us that her new man was coming over for a visit –10 years her junior) AO! The party was great – my jokes were a huge success and we danced the night away. At 2ish we decided to call it a night, and to take mini-cabs home as the night bus meant a 2-hour journey – and I wasn’t up for that. We squidged into the cab and set off. One of the guys in our taxi was a friend of friends that were there – when we arrived at the flat where everyone was staying over, I opted to take the taxi and head on home. This guy remained seated next to me as the others piled out and asked if he could stay at mine. I thought this was a bit forward, since I had just met the guy and I said no (that, and the fact that I’m in love with someone else). His intentions may have been innocent enough but I was very tired and Marion would have shat herself had I turned up with some strange man in tow!
Saturday I rose earlyish to head into Camden for the last time (unless I go back next weekend to buy a dress I saw). While I was waiting for the bus (here it comes) a man appeared next to me out of nowhere. He asked me if the bus was coming. I said I didn’t know. He asked me if I was the bus driver. I said no. He suggested that I go and train to be a bus driver so that this time next year, I could drive the bus and we wouldn’t have to wait – then he turned his head away and laughed hysterically. Riiiiight. The bus appeared just then and as it pulled up, he said “you look hungry – let me take you to a restaurant and feed you”. “No thanks” I said and hopped aboard, hoping he wouldn’t sit next to me for the duration – and he didn’t, strangely enough. After wandering the market with Paul and my friend Scott, we went back to Paul’s for our tea. When we arrived, Paul explained that the reason we couldn’t watch Sky (satellite channels) was because of his new flatmates, a Brazilian woman and her 8 year old son. The son had gone out onto the balcony and ripped the arm and receiver off the satellite dish, as well as breaking off a slat in one of the metal deck chairs. By way of apology, she brought over a stack of videos from her boyfriends place. While eating, I read off the list of titles available to us. The bottom one was hard to read and I sounded out possibilities. Shy 6th Former was what I ended up saying – Paul said, laughing, “that sounds like a porno title”! He went over to the stack and sure enough, Shy 6th Former was a blue movie! We had a good giggle over that one – and tried to figure out if it was a mistake or on purpose! We put it on (it had been stopped half-way through) and watched a woman dust furniture for about 10 minutes, while pouting and pulling up her skirt to reveal red underpants – that was as racy as it got. Haha. Saturday night at the movies. Sunday was a quiet day – I saw The Guru, which I enjoyed – silly but entertaining.